... and then I got pregnant. A 110-year-old male lizard, more specifically Henry the tuatara, finally mated with an 80-year-old female. The two haven't done the nasty in forty years. Well, Henry hasn't, who knows what that slut Mildred's been up to.
Slut and Mildred don't really go together, huh ;)
There are two lessons to be learned here. One, if your man hasn't had sex with you in forty years, then have him remove the cancerous lump from his balls or threaten to do the surgery yourself. Two, it may take 110 years, but maybe I can get (my man) pregnant.