I was there when you first jumped off the UPS truck and onto my doorstep. I delicately unpacked you from the safety of your styrofoam walls. I let you breathe and see the sun shine. I loved and cared for you.Sincerely,
When you became sick I took you to Dr. Norton. He's not always the best doc in a box, but he got us through some tough times. Never once did I have to reformat you or destroy your lovely hard disk memories.
There was a time when you refused to be a laptop and required constant electrical power. I was upset, but determined to solve the problem. You were hesitant at first, but now you love your second battery with nearly twice the power storage.
However, this year has been more rough than others. Your battery doesn't last as long as it once did. Your power cord is about to break and you don't even recognize the ability to charge your battery when I plug you in.
Today I had to perform surgery on you to fix your monitor hinge. Trust me, it was as painful for me as it was for you. The only solution was to take a pair of cutters to your casing and install rubber band supports. I'm sorry for such a crude solution, but I wouldn't be able to bear the pain of your death if something were to go wrong during internal surgery.
Lastly, this is very sad to say, but I think you only have six months to a year left to live.